Hope
by Branson'sDarling
Summary: After Lady Mary Crawley's wedding to Henry Talbot, everything should be perfect. However, Mary is not happy. Her marriage turns into a nightmare Mary doesn't seem to wake up from. Will Tom be able to get through to her and make her happy again? There is hope...
1. Chapter 1

*This follows the final episode of Downton Abbey (6x08) two weeks after Mary and Henry's wedding. It is a work of fiction.*

"My darling Sybbie," Tom said as his daughter was running towards him, followed by George. He was utterly and completely content just watching them.

"Daddy, daddy," Sybbie started screaming in her sweet high voice when Tom grabbed her and lifted her onto his shoulders. Her laugh was contagious and she clearly was enjoying being up there on his broad shoulders.

George was at his feet, laughing and waving to Sybbie. "I want to be up in the sky, too." He was an image of his father, Matthew.

Tom winked at the little George. After several minutes of Tom walking around beneath trees to see if Sybbie could touch any branches being on her dad's shoulders, he put her down again. He placed a kiss on her forehead before she ran off once again, catching butterflies. She was giggling.

"Come on, George, now it is your turn, if you want."

George's smile could not have been any bigger as Tom lifted him far up into the sky. But as soon as George was on his shoulders, he started yelling, "Mummy, mummy!" He pointed back to the house where Mary just exited the car, walking directly inside without hearing her son's voice from quite far away.

Tom squeezed his eyes together when he put the little boy down who immediately ran after Sybbie. "Sybbie, George, let's go inside," he told them. The two children rushed back and followed Tom back to Downton.

After he brought the two kids back to the nursery, he went downstairs to Carson. "Carson, do you know where Lady Mary is?"

"She withdrew to the sitting room, Mr Branson," Carson replied kindly with his deep voice.

"Thank you," Tom nodded, leaving towards the sitting room.

He entered the room and immediately found Mary standing by the window. As always she looked exquisite in her dark purple dress and hat. Mary was the epitome of elegance and grace, indeed. She mastered the art of elegant simplicity like Henry called it.

She didn't notice his arrival and continued staring out of the window. Tom opened his mouth to speak, but exactly then Mary started quietly talking to herself, "maybe I do not deserve better."

Tom frowned. What was she talking about? He cleared his throat to get her attention. Swiftly Mary turned around. Her eyes widened in shock at his sight and Tom thought to have seen tears in her eyes, but that couldn't be true. Mary hardly ever cried or teared up. She was usually guarded.

"Is everything alright?" He took a step forward.

A moment of silence followed. Mary seemed to collect herself again, taking a deep breath and putting on that emotionless though elegant facial expression that everybody knew so well from her.

"Tom, everything is perfectly fine. How could it not be?" She almost sounded offended and aloof. Her eyes didn't meet his though. "Shouldn't you be out managing the estate?"

He briefly grinned. "I was out with Sybbie and George."

She nodded. "Very well then." There was a short hesitation before she continued. "Excuse me, I'll go upstairs and change." It was as if Mary could not stand being in the same room as Tom.

"Hold on, Mary." Tom grabbed her thin wrist as she passed him. He pulled her back. "We haven't really talked since you came back from your honeymoon with Henry. You avoid me at all times. Even at all the dinners you don't seem to dare to look my direction, not to mention your lacking presence at our office for running the estate."

She rolled her eyes before she spoke. "I am very busy, Tom. You can't expect me to babysit you. I have better things to do than that."

There she was. The Mary that felt superior to everybody, the Mary that was a bully, the Mary that was not happy.

Tom bristled at her hostility. "Don't do that with me. You are better than that!"

"Better than what? Are you going to call me a bully once more?" she challenged him with a firm, collected and arrogant voice.

"Look at me," Tom demanded, holding back his anger as well as possible. "I will call you out for being a bully if it comes to that. Even though I know you are not and it's just acts of desperation and jealousy. Are you not happy now?"

And for the first time since a while, she looked him straight into his eyes. Her face was turned towards his and he was struck by her beauty like always. Her bobbed dark brown hair almost seemed black in the light and contrasted wonderfully with her porcelain skin. However, there was something in her eyes that was different. People usually said they were as cold as her heart, but Tom saw that coldness more as a protective barrier between the outside world and her soul. Now though, as Tom looked her in the eyes, there was something missing. The shine and light that he normally noticed beneath the barrier was gone; the shine that hinted at the warmth she reserved only for her dearest and the light that hinted at her vulnerability and love she was so good at hiding. Her beauty seemed to have lost the most important feature, he thought to himself.

"I married the man you all think is so right and perfect for me. How could I not be happy? I shall be perfectly happy. Now if you excuse me, I'll retire to my room. Good day, Tom." In her voice resonated reserve and aloofness and with that said, Mary wrested herself free from Tom's grip.

Before he could reply, she was out of the room and he could hear her going upstairs. Left was a confused Tom.

* A little introduction. I hope you liked it at least a bit.*


	2. Chapter 2

Edith had come back from London that Tuesday afternoon. Tom noticed immediately that she was much happier than before and wondered if it could be anything to do with Bertie Pelham. She didn't say anything to him, just that she had news and would announce them during dinner.

As soon as everybody arrived at the dinner table, the food was served by Moseley and Barrow. Robert and Cora were deep in conversation, as were Isobel and Violet. Tom was seated in between Mary and Edith, while Henry sat opposite of Mary, as is the rule for husband and wife.

"Tom, how was your day in Ripon?" Henry tried to start a conversation.

"It was quite uneventful, really," Tom replied in a polite manner. "Are you going to drive your car anytime soon again? You haven't since you moved here to Downton."

"Of course, I planned to do training sessions tomorrow in the country side. An old friend of mine is coming along. He called a few days ago that he will be in the area. Do you want to come along? I am sure you can help us out immensely." Henry looked expectantly at him.

Tom was flattered and naturally could not refuse a chance to have a look at the cars.

As soon as they settled the details, Tom stole a peep at Mary, who was utterly scared of car racing which had almost prevented her from marrying Henry. Only the rest of the family, especially Tom, could convince her to believe in love and that her fear of getting hurt again would only isolate her from happiness. He was still proud of himself that he was part of why Mary married again. But anyway, there was no reaction to be seen in Mary at all as they were talking about the cars. She just calmly ate her dinner as if she couldn't hear anything they were saying. He found it odd, but could not put a finger on why she was behaving differently than how he would have expected her to.

"Please, listen everyone," Edith suddenly raised her voice, interrupting all conversations. "I have quite some news. When I was in London, Bertie surprisingly called and wanted to meet up. After that whole-" she hesitated a moment, glancing at Mary. "-debacle last time we had seen each other, I did not expect to see him ever again." She blushed and a bright smile lit up her face. "Well, he proposed again. And I said yes. He is coming up to Downton tomorrow."

The whole family's faces brightened up at such wonderful news.

"Oh, my dear Edith. I am delighted for you," Robert said happily. He couldn't stop a content laugh escaping him. His daughter, Edith, will outrank them all, that was his greatest surprise, a perfect surprise though. "You will be so happy and have such a wonderful life."

"Finally," Violet said. "It's time you get to be happy."

"Congratulations, Edith," Henry simply said. "Bertie is a fine man."

"Yes, he is, indeed," Edith replied.

Everybody settled again, but the topic was further discussed in small groups.

Edith leaned to Tom. "Thank you, Tom. I love you for not listening to me and calling Bertie. He told me."

He grinned contentedly. "I just want you to be happy. I am glad he finally came around after all those weeks. He would have even without my call. You are a catch!"

"You successfully helped me and Mary to find our matches, now it is time to look for your own happiness," she added straightforward.

Tom couldn't not look at Mary at this remark. Mary had been the source of his happiness since Sybil had died. Her and Matthew were there for him from the very moment he lost his love, supported him with Sybbie's christening and Matthew even gave him the job as the estate agent. And after Matthew's death, he was there for Mary, as the person to push her on her feet again, as a friend and a confidant. They learnt to be happy together.

"Mary, are you not glad for Edith and Bertie?" Tom asked Mary in a firm and loud voice.

The whole table went silent as everybody awaited the answer with fear and tautness. It had been Mary's fault the engagement had ended the first time around.

Mary's head turned around, facing Tom. A forced smile appeared on her face. "Very happy and glad for them." She looked past him to her sister, who nodded briefly.

Her mother Cora smiled at her, thankful to her eldest daughter for not being rude.

Everybody then went back to their conversations.

"But I still don't get what Bertie sees in my sister…" Mary murmured quietly to herself, but Tom heard it.

Tom turned around sharply. Mary didn't realize though.

After dinner, they withdrew to the drawing room. After a few minutes Mary excused herself. Tom frowned when Henry followed Mary's steps to the door with an angry face. Tom turned towards Robert again who was talking to him about the estate and said, "I am sorry, Robert. I need to excuse myself. I don't feel very well."

He quickly left the room and looked around the great hall. "Mr Barrow," he shouted as Barrow was just about to leave for downstairs again. "Did you see Mary?"

"Lady Mary went outside," Thomas replied kindly, nodding towards the entrance door.

Tom thanked him and left, too. He was still shocked from what Thomas had done a few weeks back and hoped that he would get better and become happier with time.

It was dark outside and Tom could hear dogs' barks from the far distance. It was a beautiful night, the sky was graced with many stars. He wandered around and tried to spot a figure somewhere on the estate. Suddenly he heard a faint sound of weeping. He saw a graceful figure standing on a slight hill – Mary. She was burying her head in her hands. She didn't wear a coat.

Tom took steps towards her. He didn't want to scare her, so he called her. "Mary?"

She quickly spun around, quickly wiping away what would have been tears. "Tom?" she retorted with almost broken voice. "What are you doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same question." His voice softened as he continued. "What is wrong my dear Mary?"

"Nothing to concern you with…" she trailed off, being as vulnerable as you could ever see Lady Mary Crawley Talbot.

Tom thought she was walking towards him, but it turned out that she was rushing past him, back to the house. As always, she rather ran away from whatever she was feeling and dealing with. Tom quickly followed but by the time he got inside, Mary was at the stairs and he wouldn't run after her as Mrs Hughes was standing there. He looked after Mary with a pained expression. His heart was breaking at the thought of Mary's ignorance towards him and her lack of communication and love for him. It used to be different... before the wedding.

"Mr Branson?" Mrs Hughes said into the silence.

"Yes. Please, call me Tom, I always tell you to do so."

"Alright then, Tom. Can I be honest with you?" She waited for his answer.

"Yes, of course. I expect nothing less from you."

She took a deep breath, empathy in her eyes. "Tom, I can just tell you the same thing I told you over ten years ago: Be careful or you'll end up with a broken heart. You will if you don't stop yourself now."

And like last time she had told him that, Tom left without replying a word.

 ***I know it's slow for now, but I need buildup for what is going to happen. Also, I am going to include the other Downton characters in a manner that supports this Tom/Mary (/Henry) story.  
I am grateful for all inputs and appreciate criticism as well. If you feel like the story should develop quicker, please tell me so. I will try to do it as best as I can.**

 **My reason for writing this fan fiction: I was quite upset with the last ten minutes of the last episode of Downton Abbey as I am not a fan of the Mary/Henry relationship – I do not see sparks or anything. This fan fiction will end in a way I expected the final to end for Mary.**

 **I hope you liked the second chapter. Thank you for reading. ***


	3. Chapter 3

That night Tom was lying awake in his bed much longer than usually. He remembered the exact day Mrs Hughes had said those same words to him the first time. It was at the garden party in 1914, the day the news about the start of the war reached them. It was only then that Tom admitted to himself that his feelings for Sybil were already way beyond his first curiosity and admiration for her, more than just being in love. It was love. There was no escaping for him anymore. A glance at his bedside cabinet was enough to take a look at his late wife. He smiled at remembering her and cherished their memories together. But was Mrs Hughes right? Had Tom slowly been falling in love with Mary? He knew he was harbouring feelings of deep love and affection for Mary, but she was married now and he knew he would not come to any conclusion thinking about this subject any further. He abandoned his thoughts and tried to fall asleep which happened first slowly and then all at once. His unconsciousness remained awake though, knowing that he loved Mary much more than he should and that sooner or later his consciousness will learn that, too, and then he will have to experience what it means to have a broken heart.

* * * the next day * * *

"Come on, Henry!" Tom was cheering for him at the side of the road. He was holding anumbrella and trying to keep it upright as there also was quite a bit of a wind. Difficult conditions to drive but Henry and his friend wanted to anyway, remarking that not all competitions would be in dry weather so training now could only help them.

After hours of training, Henry and Tom finally made their way back to Downton.

"Your car is in great condition," Tom mentioned.

"Thanks to you it is even better now. You really have an eye for everything to do with cars," Henry said in admiration.

Tom smiled.

"I do not want to be discourteous-" Tom thought carefully about what to say, but was positive Henry would not take it the wrong way. He was a fine man after all. "-or invade your and Mary's privacy, but is everything alright between you two?" He knew it wasn't his place to ask, but couldn't help the urge to know the truth.

"Why would you ask that?" Henry frowned.

"She seems unsettled. She hardly talks to me anymore and there is her lacking presence in the nursery," Tom admitted, waiting patiently for a proper answer.

Henry turned towards him. "We are perfectly fine. Mary is just feeling slightly ill. Nothing serious, don't worry, she is alright."

He nodded in understanding. Even though he wanted to believe Henry – and Henry had never given him any reason for distrusting him - something inside him said that there was more to the story. If he was sure about something, then it was that he would not leave her in the miserable state she was in for the present.

The rest of the drive back to Downton they spent in silence; each of them deep in their own thoughts.

After they arrived and changed in their rooms – Henry was soaking wet – they joined the rest of the family in the drawing room for tea. Bertie had arrived earlier today.

"Lord Hexam, nice to see you again," Tom said as he went over to him and Robert. They shook hands in a polite manner when Robert excused himself to go to his wife Cora.

"Please Mr Branson, call me Bertie," Bertie immediately offered with a smile. "I guess I have to thank you again for giving me that last push to overcome my own pride and propose again."

Tom's lips curled up in an adorable smile. "It's Tom and I am glad for the both of you." He stopped for a moment before continuing. "I know that Edith's distrust in you hurt you. Trust takes time to build and only moments to destroy. However, it can be mended with commitment. A scar might always remain, but we can all wear our scars with pride, as it's the combination of every experience that makes us who we are."

"Indeed. Edith has always talked very highly of you. I now know why," Bertie responded.

Before Tom could say something back, he overheard Mary and Edith arguing quietly. "He wouldn't have needed to propose a second time if you hadn't brought Marigold with you after your little journey to France. You could have left her there with a nice family as I guess it was intended to happen." It was Mary's voice.

"Excuse me, Bertie," Tom quickly said, turning towards the two women.

Disgust resonated from him at Mary's comment.

"Don't look at me with your judging eyes." Mary immediately picked up that he had overheard them. The tone of her voice was cold and haughty.

"Why are you so self-destructive? You will destroy your relations and in the end yourself if you keep going like that."

Her eyes were fixed on his. She raised an eyebrow. "Haven't you heard? I don't have a heart…" she replied coolly.

At that remark, a cold shiver ran down his spine. Mary was cold and calculated, yes, but only because she had to be.

"We all know that," Edith replied with hatred and rushed off.

Mary remained unfazed.

Tom couldn't decide whether to be angry at Mary or sympathetic. He decided for the latter. "You have a heart. I know it because I have seen it so many times." He took a step forward towards her only for Mary to take an awkward step back. But when she did, she somehow unfortunately bumped with the side of her waist into a table and winced in pain which came as a surprise to Tom. She bent down, her hands on the right side of her waist.

"Mary!" Tom rushed to her side, helping her stand upright. After a few seconds, she was alright again. Nobody else in the room seemed to have noticed.

"Tom…" Mary's voice trembled as she kept holding on to Tom.

"Yes?"

Her eyes were pleading for him to understand her without having to talk. He didn't though. He couldn't.

"It was a mistake to marry Henry," was all she could manage as she let go of him.

His heart skipped a beat. His eyes shut close for a moment.

"It happened once… he didn't mean for it to happen, but it just did. It was my fault, but it was his, too. I just wanted to be loved," Mary was mumbling. Angst was written in her face. She was stumbling over her own words and Tom could sense the chaos that must reign inside her. She seemed to look for answers, for forgiveness and for love. She was a mess, longing to be fixed. That moment she wasn't the cold, strong Mary, she was unprotected and vulnerable.

He wanted to tell her so much, but it wasn't the right place or right time. "Let's meet in half an hour in the nursery," he suggested instead, becoming more and more aware that the rest of the family would sooner or later look over to them, as would Henry. "We'll talk. I love you, Mary, and I want you to be happy." His tone was the softest it had ever been.


	4. Chapter 4

Tom was pacing in the nursery, waiting patiently for Mary to arrive. He was a troubled man. Why was Mary certain she had made a mistake in marrying Henry? To him, they were perfect for each other… Both were strong-minded, determined, strong and self-assured. Of course, Henry was not Matthew. He didn't bring out the vulnerability in Mary, the soft side of her like Matthew did. However, Henry challenged her, was straightforward with his feelings and mad about her. At least, that's what it seemed to Tom.

A flutter of activity at the door drew his attention. He spun around, looking at Mary entering. Her black dress was lightened up by her bright elegant jewellery. She seemed confident again, collected and ready to talk. He knew she had prepared for what she was going to tell him and that she would not show any sign of vulnerability or angst. She knew how to put on a brave face.

Her eyes were searching the room. "Where are the children?"

"Marigold and Sybbie were brought down to the drawing room. Barrow is entertaining George, the usual," Tom explained.

"Henry has not spent any time with me and George yet…" she started, but trailed off.

Silence followed.

Mary crossed the room and sat down on the chair next to the window. She looked up at Tom. Her face was guarded. "I shouldn't have said what I had told you downstairs. I shouldn't have lost it as I did," she stated in a clear voice. "However, it is the truth. It was a mistake to marry Henry."

Guilt spread in Tom. His face must have given him away because Mary quickly continued. "No Tom, it is not your fault that I am not happy in my marriage. It was my choice in the end, even though you all kept pushing and pushing me towards him."

Tom's mind was already going through reasons why Mary didn't like being married to Henry, thinking it must be the car racing or the fact that it was not nearly such a great love as she had with Matthew.

"What happened downstairs? Why did you say such things?" he asked, trying to ban the guilt he was feeling to the back of his mind.

Mary took a deep breath and looked away. It seemed she was embarrassed, almost as if she felt guilty for showing feelings of pain and hurt. "Promise me, Tom, that you don't tell anybody and keep whatever I tell you now to yourself." Her eyes met his expectantly, waiting for him to make that promise.

"Of course," he quickly responded.

He took several steps forwards as Mary stood up again, facing him. She prepared herself for what she was going to say. "And please, don't think any different of me." Her posture indicated determination and strength even though her eyes seemed to contradict.

"I never would."

"Well then. Henry is very," she struggled to find a word. "-assertive to say the least. It happened once. We were arguing over where to live and he got very angry when I said that I would never leave Downton and you, Sybbie and my parents. He eventually lost control, hit me and didn't stop until I was lying on the floor. I still have the bruises and that's what was hurting me in the drawing room." Her voice was firm, but Tom could sense that it took her all her willpower and strength to tell him that. "And I realized that fact is I have never loved him. I wanted so badly to love somebody that loves me that I lied to myself. Even before that happened I wasn't happy. He is not the man I love or could ever love."

An unpleasant silence followed. Mary was waiting for him to say something.

Out of all things Tom imagined, nothing compared to that. He felt pure shock, disgust towards Henry and confusion. He felt empty and hurt, betrayed and lost. Millions of thoughts and emotions invaded him and took control over him. He couldn't put in words what he was feeling.

"My dear Mary…" was all he eventually could whisper. He stepped towards her and took her hands in his. They were cold.

"I don't need or want pity, Tom," she said when she turned away her head and withdrew her hands from his.

He swallowed hard when one feeling inside him triumphed. Anger. Rage. He had to put all his effort into not running out of the nursery and confronting Henry right then, doing things to him that should not be done to anybody. Even when he was talking to her, she could sense the anger in his voice. She knew it wasn't directed at her though. "It is not pity."

"What is it then, Tom?"

"It is guilt. I pushed you, it was me that wanted you to marry and be happy with that bastard…" Tom was almost shouting now, his hands were trembling.

Mary wasn't having any of that though and shut him up with a wave of a hand. "And what difference does it make it you feel guilty? What does that do other than hurting you pray? It was my choice to marry him, not yours. And aren't we all stuck with the choices we make in the end?"

"No," he retorted. "No, you must not be stuck in that marriage." He rushed to her and grabbed her to make her face him. Looking into her eyes, his voice softened again, "You are not alone. I am here and I will find a way to get you out of there."

"What idea might that be pray?" She theatrically threw her hands in the air. "I am married and stuck in that marriage. It says 'till death do us part'."

"No, no, no. There must be a way. I won't stop until I have you back, away from this bastard."

Now desperation came through to the surface. There was a sudden change in her. Her strong facade fell and out came a Mary that was hurt and afraid and felt nothing but pure angst. "How often do you think I thought about what I could do to get out of that nightmare? How often do you think I wanted to run into your arms and tell you everything? A million times, I wanted to come and talk to you… but I was afraid. Afraid of what you will think of me, scared of what you might do to yourself or Henry. But I accepted that I have to brave through it all as there is no way out of this and pretend in front of all of you. It has been the hardest to fool you though as you know me the best, so I am sorry for avoiding you and for whatever I said to you. I just guessed that maybe I just do not deserve better than what I have now," she was stumbling over her own words.

A single tear was about to escape Tom's eye when he closed both of his eyes. He took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. He wanted so badly for her to have a better life, a better future. And he would not give up hope...


	5. Chapter 5

It was dinner time and as always, all of the Crawley family was gathered at the dinner table. All except one, Tom. He had excused himself for not feeling well. It wasn't a lie, really. He felt sick. His head was on the verge of exploding and his whole body was tense.

How could he have misjudged Henry? He wasn't sure how to look at him next time without disgust and rage written all over his face. Would he be able to pretend as if he hadn't heard what he did? And why did he ever write that letter to Lady Grantham to come back earlier to persuade Mary? He shouldn't have… Tom knew that now. But there was no point in dwelling on the past. There was a future to figure out.

He threw his hat on his bed and got out of the jacket. His hand travelled through his hair, messing it up in desperation and there was a permanent frown on his face. Guilt was eating him up. He just had wanted her to be loved. To be valued and appreciated. To be happy. However, she wasn't now. It was his fault. He was responsible for her never-ending nightmare.

All his heart desired as he was alone in his room was to hold Mary, hug her and shield her from the rest of the world. Knowing that he wasn't able to do that was tearing him apart.

Taking a deep breath, he took a seat in front of the small desk that was installed in one corner of the room. He knew what he had to do. He had to pull himself together like Mary was doing and start thinking about how to solve this messy situation. Despite being aware that it indeed was 'till death do us part' in the vows, he wasn't about to give in to that. There had to be a way and he was going to find it.

He took out all of Matthew's books about law and looked through them. After sorting out their particular contents, he started with one.

* * *

In the meantime, the Crawley's were having dinner.

"My darling, what took you so long earlier on in the nursery?" Henry addressed Mary.

Mary looked at him with a mixture of surprise and anger. "I spent time with my son," she replied as smoothly as she could just when Barrow was serving Henry. Briefly, her eyes met Barrow's and she thought to have seen him agreeing to the silent deal not to mention her white lie.

"But Mr Carson mentioned something about Mr Barrow here to have been with George when Marigold and Sybbie were brought down to us," Henry said suspiciously. He raised an eyebrow at Mary. "Did you entertain George, Mr Barrow?" he asked.

"No, I was not with Master George earlier in the day. I was up in my room resting just like the doctor said I should," Thomas replied in a polite manner. He then waited to be released to continue serving the other.

"Very well then, Mr Barrow. You can go on," Henry answered.

Mary let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. He must never know that she had told Tom. Her heart was aching at the thought of Tom. He is an idealist and she loved him for that, for trying to help her. As long as he was in her life she knew she'd be able to live, she'd be able to brave any storm. He was carrying a light that brightened up everybody around him.

After dinner, Mary and all the other ladies retired to their rooms. The men stayed downstairs for a drink.

"MiLady," Anna entered the room, smiling.

"Anna," Mary slightly smiled at her. "How are you? Everything alright? Any pain?"

"I'm feeling very good, thank you MiLady. The baby must be alright." Anna was beaming with joy.

Mary was glad for her.

Anna walked over to Mary with the night dress in her arms. She set it down on the bed when she carefully helped Mary get out of her dress. Her hands were light and moved with care. Of course, she knew of Lady Mary's bruises as she was the one to see them every day and she was the one Mary turned to for help to cool them down. She remembered that night vividly when Lady Mary had gone up to her room and woken her up swiftly. Lady Mary's tear-stained eyes would always stay in her mind as will her injuries. Anna regarded Mary's arms and stomach with a deep frown. By now, the black and blue marks on her arms and upper body were slowly changing into purple and a dark yellow. It looked awful, but she would not voice that. "It seems to get better," she offered instead.

"I hope so pray…"Mary answered.

After putting on the night dress, Mary sat down in front of her make-up table.

"Is that everything, MiLady?" Anna asked after getting the bed ready and putting things away.

"Yes thank you. Good night, Anna."

Before Anna left though, she turned around again. "You are a fine lady and strong woman. Don't forget that."

When Mary turned around, the door was already closed and Anna gone. A rush of gratitude swept through her body.

Her bed was comforting Mary. She pulled the duvet all the way up to her chin and closed her eyes. Only now did she realize how exhausted she actually was from the day. Her face relaxed and for the first time that day she was able to clear her mind and look at things from a wider perspective. Her heart was broken and it felt like it couldn't be fixed ever. Maybe this was the revenge for all the bad choices she had made in life, for how she once had thought to be better than others.

Tom invaded her mind. He had been a friend, a great friend and it was undeniable that the biggest part in her heart belonged to him. She couldn't help thinking back to when Tom had been their chauffeur. She couldn't have cared less about him. Now, he was all she cared about. He had crept up on her slowly but surely in the last couple of years and became irreplaceable. She loved him dearly.

Only now that she was alone in her room, did regret emerge from her heart because of how she was burdening Tom with her life. With certainty Tom was taking the blame for what Mary had said and that was the last she had wanted. Although, she felt relieved to be sincere with him, to have somebody to talk to and somebody to be real with. Deep underneath her consciousness and buried under layers of other thoughts hope was returning.

The door suddenly jumped open and in came Henry.

"Why did you leave instead of having a drink with us?" he asked immediately.

"I just didn't feel like it," Mary replied indifferently.

Henry sighed and scratched his neck. "You need to get over it. I said I am sorry about what happened. I didn't mean to lose control. I love you, Mary, my darling," his voice softened at the end.

Mary nodded. He had apologized many, many times, but she couldn't find it in her heart to forgive him. When she was looking at him, all she could see was the cruelty this man showed her, not the love that he insisted he had for her. She turned to her side when he was getting ready to get into bed. Mary closed her eyes, but still one tear was able to escape her eyes and was running down her cheek. Fear was anchored in her and didn't seem to go anywhere.

* * *

 **Thank you all so much for reading my story. I appreciate all the comments and each time I see that somebody wrote something a smile creeps up on my face.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

It was late morning and Tom was just reading the newspaper when Henry entered the room, followed by Mary.

"Good morning," Robert said, offering the both of them a smile.

Henry kindly replied, whilst Mary just briefly nodded at her dad. She rather rested her eyes on Tom, a hesitant smile on her face.

Tom looked directly at her, closing and putting the newspaper down. He didn't dare to look at Henry though. Mary might be good at hiding her feelings and emotions, but he didn't want to pretend, he rather ignored him then. Tom clenched his teeth though when Henry addressed him. "Tom, are you free today? I might do a training session and would rather enjoy your expertise again."

He turned towards Henry only to feel like somebody punched him in the stomach. "No," he responded sharply. "As a matter of fact, Mary and I will be out today to check on Mr Mason and the pigs," he continued, speaking more to Robert than Henry.

"Good idea," Robert replied, nodding in agreement.

"Are we?" Mary asked in confusion.

"Indeed we are." Tom's voice was soft and hinted at something else.

"Alright then. That's settled," Robert concluded.

They settled the details and even decided to bring George and Sybbie with them.

* * *

The kids were running down the path, Tom and Mary followed. It was somewhat awkward as it was the first time after their talk that they were alone again. Nobody wanted to be the first to start a conversation, so they just walked next to each other in complete silence. Mary was pretending to look at the beautiful scenery when Tom was fiddling with his jacket. It was not entirely uncomfortable though. Mary enjoyed knowing Tom was right next to her and his proximity was somehow casting a shield over her, a protection.

"Well," Tom eventually spoke up, interrupting the silence. He thought about asking how she was, but decided against it due to the simple reason that he didn't want her to feel like he pitied her or anything like that. "As you must know, we are not on our way to Mr Mason."

"I figured when we passed the path to his house but didn't follow it," Mary replied, turning towards him whilst walking. A smile appeared on her face. "So what secret place are we going to?"

"Don't be angry with me now, please," Tom was quick to say. He shut his eyes. "I asked Doctor Clarkson to meet us at Isobel's place." Opening his eyes, he saw that Mary had stopped. She looked at him in confusion.

"Why?" she finally asked and frowned. She knew the answer but she hoped she would be wrong.

Tom knew this was going to feel like a betrayal to Mary now as he had promised not to tell a soul about anything she had said. "To take a look at your… bruises," he answered, in lack of a better word. He didn't know how bad her injuries actually were.

Mary inhaled in shock and slight anger. Hurt caused by his broken promise was radiating off her. "Why would you do that?" Her voice was cold again. Her eyes disbelieving. Not intending to await his reasoning, she searched for the kids in the distance and shouted for George. "George, my darling, we ought to go back!"

"Wait…" he pleaded. "Are you not even going to let me finish why?" He could hear George's laugh and Sybbie's giggling as they came closer and closer with every second passing. How he loved seeing them happy together. "I promised you not to tell anybody and I didn't yet. Mr Clarkson doesn't know why-"

"Nor will he ever know," Mary replied sharply.

"I just want to help you."

With that her face changed. Her eyes softened as if she truly understood. "I know you want to help me, but trust me that there is no way out of this. I'll have to adapt to Henry willy-nilly." At the mention of Henry, he flinched, but tried not to show it.

Brave. That's how he would have described her right in that moment. Honesty seemed to be the best policy for him as he looked her in the eyes. "I don't know if there is… But I will find something. For now, you'll just have to trust me. Please let him examine you." His eyes were firmly on hers so he could follow all her reactions.

Mary was shaking her head in a dismissive manner.

"He'll sort out a report of your injuries…" he started but trailed off as George and Sybbie arrived, both out of breath.

George jumped up, hoping for Mary to catch and lift him. She started smiling at her son, when she lifted him up. Tom was not turning away though and saw how hard it was for Mary to carry George. She must feel the pain of the bruises because she clenched her teeth and her knees were bent a bit too much.

"Mummy, mummy, did you see how fast I was?" George was squealing in joy.

"Yes, you were the fastest!" Mary's face lightened up at her son's smile.

She was a good mum. Tom admired her and loved her for being somewhat near a mum to Sybbie, too. He knew she loved George more than anything. Her heart is in the right place.

"Trust me, Mary," Tom said again. His voice was deep and firm and his eyes rested on hers.

In a moment of silence, her shoulders fell. If she knew one thing then it was that she wanted to trust him. What worried her was that the last time she had trusted his judgement she ended up marrying Henry.

Before she could answer, Sybbie started babbling. "Look, look. There is a bird… Do you see it, daddy?"

"I do, darling." Mary heard Tom answer with a calm and loving voice.

George was clinging on to her. And in that moment it was him she wanted to have a better step-father for. George deserved a real dad who cared deeply for him and also herself.

"Alright then," she finally whispered and laid her eyes on Tom again.

Tom couldn't oppress his joy. "Thank you," he replied as she set her son down again.

The walk seemed endless and was filled with silence except their children's laughter. He had thought about this the whole morning, if it was right for him to get her to see Mr Clarkson and decided that there would be no harm done if he saw her. He was desperate to do something.

When they finally arrived at Isobel's house, Isobel opened the door and let them in. "Tom, Mary, I am so happy to see you. How are you?" she said with a big smile when Mary greeted her cordially. "And you also brought Sybbie and George, how lovely." She was genuinely over the moon to see the kids.

"Thank you Isobel," Tom said as soon as the door was shut close again. "I apologise for any inconvenience that this might bring along."

"Not at all, Tom. I am always glad if I can help." Her smile didn't vanish. She was very fond of Tom, always had been.

Mary just kept smiling at her, trying not to let her see her inner dilemma and abashment. But finally Isobel dared to ask after Mary's health - with a worried facial expression. "What is the matter with your health if I may ask?" With a glance at Tom, who breathed out loudly, she continued. "Tom just said that there is no way Mr Clarkson should be seeing you at Downton and nobody must know about you seeing him."

Mary put on a fake smile, thinking about what to say, when Tom jumped in to help her, saying "I'm sorry but we can't tell you what it is." Mary looked bewilderedly at him. He was so blunt sometimes. It still amazed her.

"Then I just hope it is not serious." Isobel didn't seem to be that stunned about Tom's bluntness and just pointed towards a door in the back, addressing Mary with a brief but worried smile. "Mr Clarkson is waiting in there for you, Mary." With that she turned towards Sybbie and George, hugging them and letting them in her drawing room where she started talking and playing with them. She must have sensed that Tom and Mary wanted to have a quick talk before she went to see the doctor.

"I hope you are happy with yourself to have dragged me here and to have involved Isobel who might think ill of me now due to our dishonesty," Mary didn't intend to say that, but it just slipped out.

But Tom wasn't one to take everything Mary said to heart. He simply ignored her input. "It is the right thing to do. I love you Mary, and I am thankful to you for letting me try to find a way," he said with a raspy voice. His eyes caught hers and he sensed her fear for the future in her beautiful brown eyes. He so desperately wanted to show her that it was shared pain and fear, but didn't know how.

She didn't say anything back. A nod and then she spun around walking to the door Isobel had pointed to. She opened and closed the door in a swift move.

Tom just looked after her, staring at the door that had closed for a few more minutes, alone and deep in his thoughts.

* * *

 **I hope you liked that chapter. :) I have already planned out the whole story and am really looking forward to share the rest of their story with you.**

 **I appreciate all your comments and likes. Your support is truly amazing!**


	7. Chapter 7

It was much harder than first expected. Tom had never really known anything about the law and now all he seemed to do when he was alone was to scan law books, reading all passages to do with marriage and law to fix Mary's life. It didn't make it easier either that there wasn't much information to be found on that particular field.

Days flew and soon a week had passed since Mary saw Doctor Clarkson.

Tom was disgusted at the thought that she had to sleep in the same bed as Henry and that she had to pretend to be a happy wife in front of people. It was awful to watch and he was certain that people would notice something was wrong. But surprisingly to Tom, who was a very kind and observant character, the rest of the family didn't seem to notice anything as Mary's ability to fool others and to hide her feelings was beyond superb. It was a blessing and a curse.

That weekend Edith had a guest, Laura Edmunds, her editor. She was to come up to Downton to celebrate the re-engagement of Edith and Bertie and arrived just in time for tea.

Mary was having tea in a corner of the drawing room with Henry quietly talking to her, when Laura started to walk over to Tom. "Downton is beautiful," she commented.

"Yes, indeed, it is," Tom kindly replied with a brief smile.

"I understand why Edith will miss living here after her wedding," she said, keen to get into a conversation with Tom.

"I guess she will be happy wherever she lives with Bertie," he replied, looking over to Edith and Bertie who were in a deep conversation, Edith's eyes were beaming.

"Certainly," Laura replied. "Anyway, I am happy for Edith. Finally, it worked out." She paused and her eyes scanned the room, resting for a few seconds on Mary. "Mary almost destroyed her engagement to Bertie. I don't envy Edith for having such a sister," Laura bluntly said.

Tom's eyes narrowed at that last part. He wasn't oblivious to the fact that Mary often was perceived as a cold, calculated person, but hearing it from somebody who didn't know her at all, was too much. To him, Mary was a loving, kind person whose actions sometimes were rooted in her own misfortune. Unfortunately, Mary considered herself to be an unkind person, too. "Mary and Edith's relationship is not our concern at all. We would be foolish to judge them on how they treat each other," Tom responded in a manner that made Laura understand he would not allow anything bad said about Lady Mary in his presence.

"I didn't mean it li-"

But he interrupted her. "I know you meant it, but I wouldn't expect anything less from such a strong-minded, opinionated woman that you are. However, Lady Mary's behaviour is nothing of your concern." He tore his eyes from Laura's and looked for Mary. She was still with Henry, but staring at him and Miss Edmunds.

Laura seemed awed. Her eyes rested on Tom. She admired his honesty and his confidence in speaking his mind.

"Excuse me," Tom said, casting her a brief but friendly smile. He hastily walked over to Mary just when Henry took off to talk to Cora.

"You and Miss Edmunds seem to get on very well," Mary commented upon his arrival. "I hope you are happy with me commenting that she looks rather unhappy now that you left her all by herself. If I am not mistaken, she is rather fond of you."

"Would you be happy if I got on well with Miss Edmunds?" Tom asked, raising his eyebrows.

"My dear Tom, of course I would be. Nothing gives more pleasure to me than seeing you happy," she was quick to respond.

Tom nodded. He didn't even know why he asked that. Miss Edmunds was a nice, modern woman, but he had no interest to get to know her better whatsoever.

Before he could say anything though, Mary continued. "I even overheard mama and papa talking how well you two would be together. They think she would be a good fit for you."

He was surprised Robert and Cora would even enter such a conversation about him. "Would you say the same?" Tom was curious now.

Mary wasn't one to disguise her opinion. Although, this time she struggled to be truthful and was looking for the right way to voice her opinion about Laura Edmunds. "Well, she definitely seems to be a woman confident in herself and she is blunt and modern to say the least. An improvement compared to Miss Bunting, I have to admit."

Tom started grinning and when she noticed his grin, her lips curled up into a beautiful smile, too. Both of them started giggling. It was liberating to just let go and laugh, like some sort of protection against all bad things and troubles.

That moment, Henry decided to come back. "What are you laughing about?" he asked with a smile, but Tom saw behind his charming façade.

"Tom was just telling me a joke…" Mary trailed off, composing herself again.

"Indeed," Tom confirmed, winking at Mary.

"I saw you talking to Miss Edmunds earlier on," Henry commented, turning towards Tom. "Edith told me she is rather interested in getting to know you."

"Is she? Well…" Tom said, glancing at Laura Edmunds who was indeed looking his direction. She saw it as a clue and joined them.

"I think we should retire and let Tom and Miss Edmunds be," Henry whispered to Mary, grabbing her hand and pulling her away from Tom.

Seeing Tom and Laura talking, Mary's insides turned over. It was quite hard for her to see him with any women, let alone Miss Edmunds who Mary thought was quite like Tom in thinking and ideas. She was jealous, if she wanted to admit it or not. She wasn't used to sharing Tom's attention with anybody else.

"MiLady," Mrs Hughes suddenly asked for Mary's attention. She appeared out of nowhere. "Is it alright if the children are brought down?" Her smile was as kind as ever.

Happy for an excuse to get rid of Henry, Mary nodded and said, "Of course. I would be delighted."

Not even ten minutes later, Marigold was running towards Edith, while George and Sybbie were taken by Robert and Cora. They both loved their grandchildren dearly and were keen on spending time with them. It didn't take long until Bertie was locked in a corner with Edith and Marigold, getting to know his soon-to-be step-daughter. Jealousy rose in Mary when she observed them. Edith was happier than anybody had ever imagined her to be. She had a lovely daughter, a loving fiancé and most importantly true love in her life. Who would have thought how their fates would change? From poor Edith to happy, successful and interesting Edith. Mary's life had changed drastically, too; although not for the better. She had been allowed one moment of happiness in its greatest form. She knew it had been love in its purest form when she was holding George in her arms, Matthew kissing her – her family. Since then there was a bubble around her, not allowing her to be happy again and just when she thought she broke the bubble, she realized that there was a dark, dark cloud rising above her.

"Mummy, mummy!" George's voice interrupted her thoughts. She looked down to her son who was holding up a little soft toy, a dog. It was a lovely one, but she had never seen it before.

"Where did you get this from?" she asked, kneeling down to face her son.

Puerile pride resonated from him. "Tom gave it to me," he answered, grinning. He quickly ran back to Tom only to throw his little arms around Tom's neck.

Mary thoroughly enjoyed that sight. A rare smile lightened up her face, a smile that took over her whole face and that had the power to ban all angry, jealous and troublesome thoughts from her mind. A smile that only a few people could bring about, two of them just hugging each other.

Suddenly, Carson entered the drawing room. "Mr Branson, there is a phone call for you."

With a quick look at Mary and letting go George, Tom followed Carson out of the room. Mary sat down on the couch, next to Cora and Sybbie.

After what felt like forever, Tom appeared in the door, but only Mary seemed to notice that he was back. He set his eyes on her when he motioned to her to come to him. Then he was gone again. "Excuse me, darling," Mary said to Sybbie who was sitting on her lap by now. She placed Sybbie on Cora's lap, stood up and quickly walked towards the door. Henry's eyes were following her, she could feel his eyes on her back. It was uncomfortable and Mary knew that he would be angry with her, but in that moment she wanted to get to Tom.

"What is it?" she asked as soon as Tom came into her sights. His back was turned towards her. When he turned around, Mary stepped forward.

"Kieran called..." he trailed off.

"Why? You haven't heard from him in ages." Mary frowned.

"He is in Ripon today and tomorrow. He said it is to do with business, but he wants to meet up to see Sybbie, too. Do you think Edith will mind me not being there for the banquet tonight?"

Mary couldn't help but sigh and roll her eyes. "Of course Edith would be terrible disappointed if you are not here for the celebration. Anyway Tom, Kieran is your brother. He can come here and have dinner with us. I am sure Edith won't mind. Downton is your home, too."

"Can't you remember the last time he was here? I don't want him to ruin what is to be a fantastic night."

"But that was years ago... And as you know, I am still fond of diamonds." Mary smiled at him in an encouraging manner.

A laugh escaped Tom. He clearly remembered how he once had described Kieran as a 'rough diamond' to Mary. "I don't think it's a good idea to invite him here-"

"Call him back and invite him here. We have a room free, too. I am going to tell Anna to prepare it," Mary continued, interrupting him. As always, Mary wouldn't take no for an answer.

Tom wasn't sure though if he liked the prospect of his brother coming. He knew Kieran wouldn't approve of the life he had built here in Downton, his lifestyle and he would certainly tell him how Tom didn't belong to the Crawley's, to Downton.

"However, don't let him convince you how you don't belong with us, because you do," Mary said firmly, her brown eyes locking with Tom's when his lips curled up into a grateful smile.


End file.
